Baby Number 8

I miss being pregnant

2010-03-08T19:40:00.001-08:00

I was holding Riona this afternoon, with her sleeping on my chest. Her little feet rubbed against my belly, and it almost felt like when she would kick when I was pregnant.

I don't miss not being able to roll over in bed. I don't miss achy hips. I miss little baby kicks and hiccups. I miss the excitement and anticipation that's constant (mixed in with some anxiety and such - but still there). Most of all I miss that. Not because there won't be new and exciting things happening. I am ecstatic that she'll be smiling very soon, and can't wait!! But there's things I'm not looking forward to - things that are overshadowed by the excitement when you're pregnant.

I'm not looking forward to leaving her 2 nights a week for school in just a few months. I'm dreading it in fact. We won't even talk about when school starts in the fall. I'll not only be in class longer, but have a heavier workload that will more than likely keep me away from home and all the kids more.

I'm having trouble moving past that. Summer is actually optional, but the class isn't. I will have to take it eventually, and besides my photography classes, it's the only one I can't take online. So it just makes sense to do it when I don't have any other classes to take. I'm thrilled to be finding our groove, and looking forward to being able to take the kids and do fun things again. It's been a LONG year and a half without zoo days, and beach days, and just a spur of the moment trip because we want to (and can) go.

I'm not looking forward to putting all the little tiny clothes away. Just a reminder of how very quickly she's going to, and is, growing. Chrissy is 17, and I can't believe at all how quickly 17 years has gone. I feel like I've wasted so much of it, and there was so much more we could have done or done better. It will be a blink of an eye and I'll be looking at colleges with Riona too.

I can't wait to really get to know this sweet baby with oh so soft hair. To find her personality, figure out what makes her smile, laugh, and even cry. What color are her eyes going to end up being? What on earth is her hair going to do - will it stick up forever? And yet, part of me wants to wait. A big part of me.

For every little step in growing up, it's a little step to independence. I realize that's my ultimate goal - I just want more time to enjoy the getting there.

Baby feet

2010-03-06T12:42:00.001-08:00

I have a thing for baby feet. I laid in bed this morning, just staring at Riona's hands and feet. I need to steal Mikhail's sketch pad and pencils and have them there waiting one morning. All the creases and wrinkles, the curves and dimples - just amazing. Since drawing them wasn't an option this morning, I grabbed the camera instead, and spent 10 minutes just taking pictures of her feet. I'd like to do the same thing with her hands if she'll cooperate. She woke up as soon as I brought the camera out - of course!

She'll be one month old tomorrow. 4 weeks. I'm not sure where it's all gone - the last two weeks have flown by. I want to curl up in bed with her, and laze around all day for weeks. If there's nothing to do, the time won't go by as quickly, or it won't seem to at least.

Karen and I did her portraits the other day. There's one "pose" I've wanted, we've tried, and I've tried, and it's never worked out! It did this time, and I love them.

Riona Joy - 3.5 weeks

I feel like a bad photographer mommy. We've just been so busy, and I forget to grab the camera for the little moments. I need to be better at that. Riona had her very first bottle the other week - and I DID grab it then. It was so bittersweet. She did great with it, and then nursed well after as well (not enough in the bottle for miss piggy!). But it's a sad reminder for me that she needs a bottle because I'm going to have to leave her to start "real" classes in just 2 months. I haven't had to leave a baby this little since my first, and I hated doing that too. At least this time it won't be for as long, and not every day.

Finding the time to pump every day has been a huge issue. At this point she pretty much eats everything I make (never happened before!). I need to find a time to just add a "feeding" where I can pump, and my schedule (and sometimes lack of one) makes that hard. I'm sure it will work out though.

In between school work and taking care of the other kids (and driving all over town most days!) I've been sewing. I can't believe that I stopped doing it for so long. It relaxes me, and is very therapeutic in many ways that I can't even begin to describe. I just have to make sure that I don't end up with 20 winter outfits for the baby - that she'll only be needing for a few more weeks (please God - no longer than that??).

Somehow I neglected baby gowns in my preparations for her. So I made 3 the other night, and made them big enough to hopefully last a bit longer than the 2 I had already. And of course, modeling mama made clothes has to turn into a photoshoot. At least I don't fail in the mommy photographer department there! There's a couple of other things that I need to finish up, and can't wait to put on her.

We're getting ready to get school going with the kids again. One of the best things about homeschooling - you can take your break when it's best for YOU! I'm hoping it will help create more of a routine around here again, and I won't be saving up these little bits and pieces for the blog, which means mammoth sized entries!

The last 8 days

2010-02-15T09:45:00.000-08:00

What a whirlwind.

A joy.

Exhausting.

Precious.

Overwhelming.

And more. So many things about this pregnancy, labor, and baby have been so different than all my other kids. I realize and completely understand that each pregnancy and baby is different. But the emotions have been different, the labor was off the wall different, and while the baby definitely belongs to this family by looks, she's got to be different too.

I've hashed out the labor with friends. It took me a couple days to even recover emotionally from it. Not that it was awful by any means, but stressful. I was on a clock, and that clock was running out. The moment she was out and in my arms was just so powerfully overwhelming. This little thing, that had caused my emotions to be all over the place the last nine months, was mine. It took a bit for that to sink in. I adore her. I sit and rub my face against her so so soft hair. I sniff her head frequently, but it still took time for me to really believe she was mine.

And as I'm processing and recovering from all this, I still had all the other kids to take care of and deal with too. Kian is in love with her, and wants to hold her, touch her, kiss her - all. the. time. There were a couple days when a hotel sounded really really good.

But we're adjusting. And she's thriving. She's constantly hungry, and eats a ton - more than any of my other kids did. I'm very curious to see how much she weighs. At her 3 day checkup, she was down to 7lbs 10oz from her birth weight - not bad at all. Her cord stump fell off while we were there. I was kind of sad. Not only did it mean it wouldn't be there for pictures (nothing screams newborn like a not yet gone umbilical cord), but that time was passing, and I know it goes by so very very quickly.

Two sessions for her newborn pictures. She couldn't be a happy content baby for the first try. I guess she's allowed to protest occasionally. At least she can't run away from the camera yet!

Riona Joy

And here we are. 8 days later with baby number 8. We've got our groove for the most part. We're learning who each other is. She loves to just sit and take the world in. She's as wide eyed as she was in those first pictures when she wasn't even an hour old. And just so tiny. I always forget just how tiny a new baby is.

And remember all that cute tiny stuff I sewed for her right before she came?? It's all too big still. She doesn't like to be cold at all, and I'm dreading our next electric bill since we've had the heat turned up, and it's been cold here. So I've been sewing a bit here and there for her, she needed (and have more planned) some warm things that actually fit her. I hate having to dig out tiny arms from the middle of a shirt because it's just too wide!

This is the most recent thing. Another "recycled" sweater from the thrift store. I had been searching for MONTHS for a girly striped sweater, having this outfit in mind. I wasn't too sure on the brightness of this - brown and earth tones are my favorites. But now that it's done, I adore it. I need to make a little hat to match - as much as I hate covering her hair, she needs one when we go out.

Since I had the camera out, and everything set up, I did a little mini photo session as well. Nothing like trying to use clothes pins to hold up a reflector!

Riona Joy

2010-02-07T11:04:00.000-08:00

Born at home February 7, 2010

2:27am

7lbs 12oz, 20 inches long.

water broke

2010-02-05T15:35:00.000-08:00

I'll obviously update sometime tomorrow :)

The last pictures of baby on the inside

2010-02-04T13:03:00.000-08:00

Or at least I hope they are!!

As I sat in the birth pool Tuesday evening trying to decide if this baby was going to make an appearance or not, I chatted with Karen. She mentioned wanting to play with some lighting, and taking some more pictures on Wed if I was up for it. It didn't look like it was going to happen, but this stubborn little girl decided to stay put for a couple more days at least.

So exhausted from 3 hours at the vet with my cat who lost a fight with a large dog (and he's a large cat) resulting in a couple of broken ribs and a ton of bite wounds on his sides, contractions 3 minutes apart for hours and hours, waking up at 4am with a terrible headache and not going back to sleep until 5:30 at least after some tylenol and a hot bath, and being up again at 7 to call the midwife to reassure her that as of 11pm NOTHING was going on anymore so she didn't need to come over, I trudged over to Karen's house to take more pictures of my overly large belly.

I figured that I'd look more tired than I did in the last set (where I looked tired!!), but they came out fine. This one is my favorite - I just look so done being pregnant, and really shows how I felt!

And the rest http://www.karenbove.com/allison39/

I felt a lot better last night after a short nap, another hot bath, and lots of food. Slept really good, and feel good again today. While I'm hoping that she comes REALLY soon, I'm glad for the rest that she's given me the last two days.

Decisions, indecision, and my brain is mush.

2010-02-02T09:18:00.000-08:00

There's so many things you need to decide on when pregnant. Who you see, where you have your baby, tests, names, etc etc. Then you get to the end, and you think you're done making decisions. But your not. And you no longer have many functioning brain cells to make said decisions because the baby apparently needs them all.

I am currently more pregnant than I have been in a VERY long time (12 years). I'm just starting to get uncomfortable to the point I'm begging the baby to come. And so I had/have a decision to make. Do I let this baby decide completely on her own when she makes her exit, do I prod her a little, or do I give her an eviction notice. And if I decide to do any prodding, or write up that notice - how long do I hold out for.

There's the "natural" encouragement - which I've found (personally and 2nd hand) rarely works unless labor is imminent anyways. There's sex, pineapple, walking, squatting, evening primrose oil, etc. Then there's things that are still of the DIY category, but tend to work a bit better. Including caster oil (ick), nipple stimulation, stripping membranes, and certain herbs. And then there's the eviction process that is not a DIY technique.

So all those things require decision making. I can't even remember that one of my best friend's baby is almost 2, rather than the almost one that I'm thinking she is. And I just saw her. Never mind that I took her 1 year pictures almost a year ago!

So I weeble, and I wobble, and can't make up my mind. I ask friends. One day I'm more than done and willing to do almost anything except evict. The next, I'm all in happy land and believing that babies will come when they're ready. Really depends on how many contractions I've been teased with that day.

So today I saw the midwife again. She lied to me last week and said I wouldn't make it to this appointment pregnant(no - I didn't really believe she was 100% sure of that!). Therefore, I had to make a decision. After a long evening of contractions and not feeling well, and no where near enough sleep because contractions kept waking me up, I'm in the "lets get this baby out" camp. So I waddle out of her office with my membranes stripped. We'll see what happens. I've had it go either way (baby a few hours later, or showing up for my next appointment still very pregnant), and I'm OK with that. If she's not ready, she's not going to do her part.

But you would thins she would WANT to come out. She can't get named until she's here - I need to know that whatever we chose (no, still don't have something that's definite) is a good fit. And I've been sewing for her. Doesn't she want to wear the really cute outfits that are waiting? Like this shirt.

Or this jacket

I'm ready to meet her. To have her snuggle with me in bed at night, to nurse her, wrap her up, and watch her sleep. To sniff that sweet baby smell that doesn't last very long. To count her toes and fingers, and decide who in the family she looks like. I want to know if she has dark hair or light hair. A lot of it, or just some fuzz. I'm ready to meet my baby - she just needs to get ready to meet me!

Finally

2010-01-20T07:52:00.000-08:00

No - she's not here :)

I think I'm finally started to get a tad excited about the baby. I wasn't thinking it would take the whole pregnancy, but it has. I'm still worried about how everything is going to get done that needs to be done, and still parent her the way that is so very important to me. We'll figure it out some how.

I've been sewing - not enough to get everything done I wanted to, but enough. Of course, I don't think I've actually finished anything - lots of things still need hemming, or snaps, or some other little small part. That's on the list for this week.

School started yesterday. Checked out all my online classes - I believe algebra is going to kick my butt.

Also saw the midwife yesterday. Baby is nice and low. Did my first every Strep B culture - lets hope it comes back negative! Didn't gain any weight from 2 weeks ago, which makes me quite happy. But my blood pressure had finally gone up. I'd been averaging around 120ish/80ish the whole time, and it was 135/80-something yesterday. I've been ordered to cut out the caffeine, and start drinking water (oops!). I've now ordered little girl out so I can start drinking Dr Pepper again.

The birth supplies are all gathered - just waiting in the closet. The birth pool has had a test run (and I believe will have another today - darn husband that didn't want to put a deep bathtub in when we built!), and sits in the room waiting as well. This waiting part sucks. I'm very much a plan, and think, and plan, and obsess, and plan some more type of person. And that's very hard to do knowing you'll have a baby sometime in the next 4 (please God not 4) weeks. Day to day planning just doesn't do it for me.

I go back and forth from wanting her to come out NOW, and to wait a couple weeks. She is NOT allowed to come from 1/21-1/24. Too many birthdays in our family, and people I want here can't be here. We'll obviously manage if it happens, but I'll be begging her to stay put from tomorrow until Monday.

Karen and I did some pictures Monday. I was very shocked to see how round and basketball looking my belly was! Just doesn't look like that when I'm looking down at it. You can check them out here:

37 weeks

Now just to keep waiting.

Time to get ready!

2009-12-27T17:44:00.000-08:00

I've got 3 weeks to get everything ready for this baby. Yes, I realize it's the absolute earliest she's allowed to come, but school starts as soon as I hit 37 weeks as well, and I'd like to try to get a couple weeks ahead on my school work. Life is going to be busy enough, I want to try to relax and enjoy her as much as possible! I know all too well how very very quickly those first few weeks, and then months go. I'm still in complete shock over how quickly this pregnancy has gone! It still seems like it should be 3 or 4 more months before I'm due.

I've always said I wished babies would stay newborn to 6 months for a year, and then grow normally until 2. And from 2 to 3 should only last 6 months. Or maybe from 12 - 18 years should only last 6 months?

There's so much I want to get done, and with no school for the next few weeks, and the only other household projects (besides the deep cleaning it so desperately needs!!) we're doing is building the swing set the kids got for Christmas. There's the newborn layette set I want to make (all mix and match to make it easier for everyone to help get her dressed or for little ones to pick out her clothes!), my mom's quilt to finish, and of course, the nursery.

I've NEVER had a nursery before. For Chrissy, I had a little area in my room for her crib. There was a wall hanging that matched her crib set, and that was the extent of it. Every baby has spent the first few months in our room, and then gone into a room they shared with someone. This baby will do the same thing, but right now the 2 youngest are sharing a room, and I'm decorating is as the "nursery". Baby girl will eventually go in there as well, and her quilt will coordinate with what I'm doing in there as well.

Crib set and quilt for Alannah's full size bed are being made from these fabrics and their coordinates. I'm not sure I'm going to love the full sized quilt (the top is almost done). If not, I stocked up in a big way when the fabric was discontinued, and I can always make a different one. I won't do a quilt for the crib, Kian has a sock monkey one already. I'm going to make these fabric boxes out of the fabrics and brown corduroy, various sizes to go on the shelves we have on the wall to hold diaper supplies and other odds and ends.

The finishing touch?? A couple sets of these adorable fishes (again in the Heather Ross fabrics) tied together and hung on the walls. I've asked Eric to help me get the room all done as soon as the swing set is finished. We need to paint the walls, Alannah's headboard, the dresser, and some of the shelves. There will definitely be pictures of the progress!

Before I forget - pictures from the last photo shoot (now that it's almost time for another one!). These ones are my favorites, you can see the ones Karen picked here.

Like I didn't have enough to do already

2009-12-15T16:45:00.000-08:00

For whatever reason, this whole pregnancy I've had many many dreams with my mom in them. I really don't mind - they seem to fill a hole in my heart that's been just sitting there gaping. This is the 2nd baby I'll have that will never had been held by her - and the ache that causes wasn't something I had ever even imagined when I was saying goodbye.

Today on the way to school, I was thinking about her and the latest dream. Just remembering the things she did, and what things of hers I held on to. And then I remembered the bag of quilt pieces that she started when I was little - 7 or 8 maybe. She got a couple blocks pieced, but never got any farther than that. I remember going over the colors choices with her - I wanted rainbows, and she obliged for the most part. That bag - that's been through many moves, and even a fire (there's smoke damage on the outside of it) is sitting in my closet. I think it's time for it to come out.

I didn't have this connection with her when I was pregnant with Kian - no more dreams than usual, didn't think and reminisce any more either. This is all new. So I feel compelled to do something different with this baby because of it. And it hit me today what to do. What better way to connect this little girl with the wonderful grandmother that she'll never get to meet, then by finishing the quilt that my mom started for me so long ago?

7 weeks to get it done. I believe it was meant to be a twin size - it will be lap size or crib sized at the most. I have 25 pieces - all of them are stained, I can't decide if I should soak them before or after I put them together. Being stored in a plastic bag for 25 years hasn't done them any favors. And of course I can see why it never got finished. Each piece had to be hand sewn onto the white square. Blah. She had more patience than I do!

Going through the bag makes my heart melt. Besides the pieces to 4 quilts she started (I don't remember her ever finishing one, until the king sized one she made for me about 6 years ago!) there's little notes and drawings for them.

Prepare to laugh!

2009-12-11T15:10:00.001-08:00

For a little narrative - pictures top to bottom, left to right. You can click on the picture to see it bigger :)

1- trying to decide if the log may be safe to sit on, or if a baby alligator may come out to say "hi".

2- poking the water to make sure there's no live creatures under the leaves before I step in.

3- Stepped on something squishy!

4, 5, and 6- SOMETHING is moving on/by my hand.

7- fixing bra straps - I no longer fit in the strapless bra - and the straps were looking a bit weird!

8- trying to tuck the skirt with no good elastic into the bikini bottoms, without pushing down the bikini bottoms. Obviously this is hard work!

9- tentatively testing out the water before I step in!

Bloopers

2009-12-10T18:31:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here laughing my butt off looking at the pictures from my latest photo session. You see, I had this GRAND idea of taking pictures in the water. I've actually had it for almost two years, and convinced Karen to do it for me. Of course, SHE didn't have to get into the cold water (72 degrees IS cold)!

So I obsess over what to wear (naturally), couldn't find the pictures that originally inspired me, and left Target empty handed (almost - I DID get a couple cute tanks, and towels finally that fit around my huge belly). But I went there for shorts - and there were none. Come on, we live in FL. It was 84 that day - seriously no shorts?? Not even in the clearance section.

So off we go to Blue Springs State park. Go get changed into my bathing suit bottoms (planned on those with a tank), and hike down to the shallower spot. And THEN see the signs. No swimming. Dumb manatees. Yes, I get that they're endangered, and Blue Springs is their winter home, but they RUINED my plans for pictures! Come to find out Blue Springs closes the run to swimming, snorkeling, and tubing from Nov 15 - Mar 31st! Should have done this a couple weeks ago :(

Decided not to waste the $6 entrance fee, and grab a couple photos at the more interesting areas of the park. Then I remember the area where you can put in and take out canoes - and that IT probably isn't blocked off since it's right where the river and spring run meet. I thought I could at least put my feet in the water, though I wasn't as comfortable getting all the way in since it's #1 - not a designated swimming area and I didn't want to get kicked out, and #2 I HAVE seen alligators in that area before.

And this is where some of the funniest pictures happen. And I will share them - I promise (but tomorrow!). Then I'll work on the good ones :)

Let's just set the record straight.

2009-12-02T19:47:00.000-08:00

There are some really rude people out there - and they don't even know that they're rude. A very good friend of mine just announced that she's pregnant - with baby #11. She's the most awesome mom I've ever met, and I have no clue how she does it. They've come to visit us in our small house (when they had 9) and you would have NEVER known there were that many people here. They're just that great.

But someone had to say it. The same thing I've been hearing the last couple years (and more in the last few months), and drives me batty. "Keep it up and TLC will give you a show!". Like the only reason people with large families have them is to go on TV. Or that the Duggars and Jon and Kate inspire us that much, that we want to be just like them. Um... Don't think so!

If fact, I think I've heard a comment about being like the Duggars or Jon and Kate at least 10 times this pregnancy. And really - it's old. It's not funny - it's actually pretty rude. It's right up there with asking us if we know how that happens (yes, we do, and we LIKE it!!).

People need to understand that I don't have a large family because I just don't know how to use birth control. I don't do it to piss them off, or burden them. I really don't give a crap about how anyone else feels about the size of my family. And I'm sorry that your parents didn't instill manners in you that when someone with a large family announces another baby you don't know how to say congratulations - instead you question them, and ask why. Or ask if they're trying to catch up to the Duggars.

And just so I don't need to type it all out - since she says it better than me - Large Family FAQs. Read that, and realize how stupid and rude you're being when you ask those questions. And yes, you are being STUPID and RUDE.

Clothes for pregnant women should be optional

2009-11-28T18:55:00.000-08:00

I've come to this conclusion. As I sit here at the computer, with my pants pulled down way low on my belly, and my shirt way above. The less on my belly, the better.

But it's not just that I don't want things on my belly. Clothes that fit well are just SO hard to find. Having a short waist doesn't help. At least that's what I think it's considered? When I'm not knocked up, Old Navy's ultra low rise pants come to about an inch and a half below my belly button. Not exactly low rise. So EVERY single pair of maternity pants with the low band, or "real" waistband, that I find the most comfortable, fall down. I'm constantly telling my kids to pull up their pants - I HATE saggy crotch. I hate it even more on me - I can't even begin to understand the kids that wear their pants with their waistband down on their thighs *twitch*

But it's not just pants. There's other parts of me that are changing shape as well. After upteen years of hating underwire bras, I finally found one that I like. I own 4. I now own 4 that are too small. So I dug out the old faithful nursing bras. I guess after 3 or so kids, they're not as faithful anymore. They cover, but that's about all they do. I guess I need to go bra shopping. Blech.

If clothes were optional, I wouldn't have these issues.

A decision I've never had to make before

2009-11-15T16:32:00.001-08:00

I'm going through all the clothes bin, taking out summer, trying on long sleeves and such for winter, for the kids. And I come to the baby bin. There's some old things of Kian's in there that were my favorites. Some are gender neutral enough that they'll work just fine for baby girl. Others - not so much.

I can't for the life of me decide what to do with them. I've been saying to people that this will be the last baby. Doesn't feel odd, painful, anything. But getting rid of baby clothes? It's the first thing that I've come across that feels concrete. And it's not really - if I change my mind, or get surprised again, I can always make and buy more. There will always be cute baby clothes - right? So why is it so hard to put those baby clothes in the "to pass on" pile??

Flabbergasted

2009-11-14T09:28:00.000-08:00

I don't quite understand this phenomenon. The other day my good friend and I were talking about birth/babies/Dr's, etc etc. She tells me when she had her last baby, the discharge nurse came in to do her thing. The nurse said something about the uterus, and I don't remember exactly what it was, because I was so shocked at the following statement. In regards to the uterus "it's the place your baby grew before she was born". Which, yes, is true. But that a nurse feels it necessary to educate a new mom about what her uterus is, is what flabbergasted me.

I understand that not everyone feels the need to research every single little thing about what is happening in their life, but can not imagine having so little knowledge about something SO major. But it must be something that comes up often, if this nurse feels it necessary to tell each patient what a uterus is.

But it's not just in that situation that I see it happening. And not just in economic and demographic situations where information isn't readily available to people to find on their own easily. But then I wonder, are people really just so trusting of other people, to take whatever they say as fact and truth? I wish I could be so trusting (and I'm not ready for a tin foil hat by any means).

Back to the birth thing. Can someone please explain to me why someone would head towards something so important, so special, such a life changing event, without finding out as much as possible about it? Why does a nurse need to explain to a new mom what is uterus is. Why does a pregnant woman not know what discomforts are just part of pregnancy, and not mean you're dying. Why are they afraid to ask their Dr/midwife questions about what's going on, or for advice for easing one discomfort or another, and turn solely to friends or acquaintances that know little more than they do? It's a little bit scary.

I listen and talk to pregnant moms, and I'm astouned that these adults have less information than I did when I was pregnant for the first time. At 15. I asked questions, I read every book I could get my hands on (too bad the "What to Expect" series was one of the only options then!). I knew more about my body, what was going to be happening and how and why, then a lot of pregnant women, and even women that have had a baby befrore, when I was barely out of childhood myself.

And then I wonder what kind of society that we've developed where so little value and emphasis is put on self education, that nurses have to tell a woman who just carried her baby for 9 months what her uterus is.

Happy cranky 28 weeks to me!! :)

Coming back to add more :) I realize this could be taken the wrong way. I do think a community of woman to get information form, or just commiserate with is a VALUABLE resource in pregnancy and motherhood. Even if it's online. But there comes a time when it should be obvious that they may not know the answers you're looking for, and to seek out more information. Why would I get information on what to expect from a cesarean if I needed it from woman who have never had one? Again, one of those things that I think as a society we've shied away from. Not only self education, but problem solving. And realizing when you don't have the complete answer, and the knowledge of how to find it yourself (or who the right person to ask would be!).

Rant really over this time! (I think)

Does it really need the practice?

2009-11-10T17:32:00.000-08:00

My uterus I mean. It's gone through this 7 times before, you'd figure it would know exactly what to do and how to do it. And it should be in plenty of good shape already too. So why the heck do I need to have braxton hicks contraction? Doesn't my uterus know how annoying they are? And add to them the round ligament pain, and you'd think my body had it in for me!

So, the way I figure, in 12.5 more weeks, my uterus will be in GREAT shape, and my ligaments will be so stretched out, the baby will just about fall out.

Which reminds me of a dream I had with the last baby - I had been sleeping (in the dream), and woke up. Rolled out of bed (after 7 months, you can't just get out anymore, you have to roll over the side and hope your legs catch you before you fall to the ground!) and all the sudden noticed I wasn't pregnant anymore. Just had that nice flabby-still looks 5 months pregnant- belly. Freaked out a bit, then looked back to the bed. Sweet baby boy was just laying there all happy and warm snuggled into my bed. He had just fallen out while I was sleeping. His cord had magically been cut, and the birthing fairies had taken care of the placenta and any mess as well!

Is it too much to hope for a labor/delivery like that? Though I would hope to at least be awake when she makes her appearance - besides, I'd like to meet the birthing fairies!

So close, yet so far away

2009-11-08T11:31:00.001-08:00

13 weeks. Wasn't I just 13 weeks like last week? And now that's all I have left!

If I think of everything that will be happening between then and now, it seems like there isn't near enough time to do it all, and this sweet girl (who I'm thinking may be a gymnast) will be here before I know it.

But then, I start doing things to get ready, and I get impatient. 13 weeks, 3 months, 90 days - no matter how I put it, can be so far away. Yet my receipts are going to start saying things can be returned after my due date soon (if you don't know what I'm talking about, Target tells you the last day you can return things at the bottom of the receipt!). 90 days really isn't that long. At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself.

Then there's my intuition. The closer I get to the end, the more and more I feel like this is NOT going to be a January baby. Which is ok. But 11 weeks/2.5 months/75 days sounds SO much closer. At least I'll have a baby by my anniversary? Which is the end of Feb. That will give me more time to get ahead in my classes for the spring semester, rather than having a baby as soon as school starts, and having to play catch up instead.

I had a great time with friends schlepping around Target pointing that stupid red thing at stuff this week. It could be addicting. I may go there, and make up fake registries just to be able to play with it!

Baby girl (no - no name yet!) is almost big enough to start playing "guess the baby part". Trying to figure out which part of her is pushing and prodding will be fun. I could lay in bed all day guessing. Well, I could lay in bed all day just for the heck of it too occasionally! At least I know that the majority of my belly is now baby, and not just fat.

Whooo Hooo!! New pictures :)

2009-11-05T17:06:00.000-08:00

Karen and I trudged all over Gemini Springs this afternoon to get some "new" shots. I had a lot of fun! And it's just what everyone was waiting for - right?? You don't get to see the ones that prove to me my butt is every bit as wide as I thought it may be. Hard to tell when you're trying to turn around to look in a mirror but keep your butt in said mirror as well!

Just a little over 13 weeks left. It seems so far away still, yet way too soon as well. I'm really just starting to get used to being pregnant!

26 Weeks

I'm tired of doing this by myself

2009-11-04T15:51:00.000-08:00

My husband helps me - a LOT. I didn't cook dinner tonight. Or last night (unless you count throwing the hunk of meat in the crockpot). Or in the last week (or probably month). I don't put my laundry away. He gets up with the 2 year old if he wakes up in the night. But I want more.

I want him to share half of the growing of this baby. I can handle the aches and pains - the chiropractor and massage therapist take care of most of those (and I will NEVER go 2 weeks without again!). I'm ok with taking the full brunt of the weight gain, stretch marks (thank you to all my kids for really not giving me many *knocks on wood*). I don't even care to share the birthing part with him.

But it's hard to nest when you don't have any energy. I have this HUGE list of things in my head that I want to do, and get done before the girly is here. And there's Christmas and Thanksgiving to deal with too. And right now I can't seem to make it through the day without 9 hours of sleep and a nap in the afternoon. Even then, I'm still crashing at 9. I want him to take half of the energy loss. I could ask him to help with some of the things, and I will. But he can't sew. And I'm particular about how things (furniture) get painted.

The list isn't getting any smaller, in fact, just about every day it gets bigger. Not sure how this is going to work out. At least I'll have a month+ after the holidays (with 3 birthdays in between) to catch up??

99 bottles of beer on the wall...

2009-10-30T13:05:00.000-07:00

Looked up at my ticker and saw 99 days left, and that's what popped into my head. Sometimes I think wonder/think that's what it's going to take to get me through to February!

It's actually not that bad, but there are some days when I wonder. Either way, under 100 days. That's just 3 months (+ a couple days). 14 weeks (and 1 day). Not enough time!!! As the girl child goes on a kicking spree to remind me just how big she's getting. And she is getting big. I used to be able to "wrap" my hands around my belly - it was the size of a small cantaloupe. Now we're looking at a soccer ball. Next will be basketball. And then beach ball - yikes!

The kids have entertained painting my belly for Halloween. Not going to happen. Not only do I not want stuff that will make my belly itch even more than it already does on it, but the thought of all of them crowding around me at once and touching me gives me an anxiety attack just thinking about it! Hopefully it won't take too long after she's here for the "touched out" feeling to go away. My poor kids that want to snuggle a LOT are feeling somewhat neglected. Thankfully that's really only 2 of them, and I can do it in small doses. We've had to go over the proper "give mommy a hug technique". Meaning - let me know you're coming, don't jump on me or hang on me, and let me hug you more than you hug me.

The planning of the things I need to gather for her are coming together in my head. I've got a newborn layette planned - basing off this shirt that I bought and ADORE. I can't wait to put it on her!

I broke down and bought more of the fabric to make some other items to go with it (at 3x what I would normally pay for a knit!). I'm getting some yarn custom dyed to match, and will knit up a sweater and longies/pants to match as well. And then some other longies out of solid colors. The plan is that she'll have 3 gown/rompers, 3-4 shirts, 3-4 pairs of pants, and 3 pairs of longies that will all mix and match. The idea is that it will make it easier for the other people in the house to get her dressed in stuff I'll take her out of the house in!

I started to put together a baby registry at Target. It's hard when you've already had 7 kids. I tend to be a minimalist when it comes to clothing, so never put any cute outfits on there. With what I have, what friends are passing down, and what I plan to make, she should be all set for the first few months. Trying to plan for beyond that is hard - my kids have all grown so differently! Then there are things that I do need, but they're expensive. So I hesitate, but they'll go on with the encouragement of my friends. It just really feels funny making a registry, and basically asking people to buy me things! I'd love maid service even more ;)

leg cramps

2009-10-29T10:02:00.001-07:00

that make you jump out of bed in the middle of the night like you're just been attacked by a rabid squirrel suck. And when said leg(s) are still sore and achy 2 days after the visit from the rabid squirrel, it really sucks.

Just saying :)

Feeling the pressure

2009-10-27T19:58:00.000-07:00

Almost everyone I know that is currently pregnant (and some that aren't yet!) know what they're going to name their baby. I've heard ultrasound after ultrasound gender update that included what the baby's name would be. And I don't have a clue what my little one's name should be.

Of course, I haven't done anything but browse haphazardly looking at names that may be suitable. I know what her middle name will more than likely be (which is usually easy as we use a lot of family names for middle names), it's just picking a first name to go with the middle name that makes it difficult. Never mind that it MUST be Irish/Gaelic/Celtic in origin (the more traditional the better).

Knowing that it's hard for us (last baby was named the night before he was born, one before that when she was 3 days old), I almost avoid it. Maybe I'm afraid to pick something out, and then a better name will come along and I'll have to change it? I'm sure that baby doesn't care what I call her in utero, but changing from Sally to Sue (examples!!) may be awkward to me. So she's just "the baby". And even when she's born, for a couple weeks as we get used to her having a real name, she'll still be the baby. And maybe for a couple years after that too - as we have the habit of calling the youngest child the baby until the next one is born. I'm sure the last baby will be called the baby well into adulthood. Maybe we should forget about a college fund, and save for the therapy bills for that one?

Good bye toes

2009-10-21T13:09:00.000-07:00

I can't see my toes when I look straight down anymore. I'm past the "is she fat or is she pregnant stage" (barely). My belly moves and bounces on it's own. I really am going to have a baby in a couple months. There's a little dresser full of tiny little baby things (and some pink and girly has been added).

Yet it still seems all so unreal. And so far away - almost like it will never happen. And then I'll feel a bump or a roll inside, and it brings it all back to me in a rush. I'm still not 100% sure where my emotions on having this baby are. The excitement that I had with the other 7 isn't there still. Maybe it never will be. At least I know that the second she is out of me, and into my arms, I'll be in love all over again, and the misgivings, worries, and anxiety will all be forgotten.

I'm tired. School is kicking my butt. Going all day for 2 classes seemed like such a good idea at the time. Now I just want to nap in the hour break in between. If it weren't so stinking hot, I would be able to in the van. But I still adore it.

Going camping this weekend. Actually leave tomorrow. I'm very excited, though part of me thinks I'm insane. I haven't been sleeping well on the bed at home that I love - so how the heck am I supposed to actually sleep on an air mattress? Wonder if the husband would object to me getting a hotel room for a night or two and leaving him to fend for himself with the kids and dog?

So, I'm really noticing the difference a few extra pounds makes

2009-10-04T06:20:00.000-07:00

You know those stories of women coming to the ER, not knowing that they're pregnant, but having HORRIBLE stomach cramps? And a couple hours later out pops a baby? I've never got HOW they couldn't know. I understood irregular cycles, and extra insulation keeping the baby belly hidden. I can even get mistaking the baby kicks in the beginning for gas bubbles. But HOW do you not get the kick that you can feel on the outside?

Then I gained 10 pounds between babies. And it apparently wants to hover right over my belly. Eric and I start discussing this after his mom tells him about one of those women that came in to her hospital last week (which was a very happy ending btw).

I realize there's more fat on my belly, and even though I'm 22 weeks, I'm having a hard time feeling all the bumps and rolls and kicks through my belly. And Eric hasn't felt a kick yet. Which makes me sad, yet helps me understand a little bit more how people could go full term without having a clue that there's a baby growing on the inside of them.

It won't be much longer before Eric can feel her though. For the most part, every time he's tried, she got all peaceful and stopped moving. There must be some sort of magic in his hands. I'll take advantage of that after she's here and wakes up 20 thousand times a night if that's the case!

But she's getting stronger and stronger, and it won't be long before you can not only feel her through the layer of blubber, but her kicks will start poking my belly out like there's a tidal wave in it. And I can't wait (remind me of this in a few months when I'm complaining of bruised ribs!).

This little girl isn't eating enough!

2009-09-29T19:26:00.001-07:00

No, not me - remember I'm not little?

I'm finally past the "is she fat or pregnant" stage, but there's still fat there - just baby belly is poking out enough to spread it out and make it look like I'm growing a baby in there rather than storing up for the winter.

So I figure, the baby needs to eat more. Because theoretically, if she eats more than I do, she'll start working on that layer of fat keeping her warm too - right? I've been pretty happy with my weight gain so far, but until recently, my appetite hasn't been all that great either, so it's been easier. Well, my appetite is back, and I'm definitely eating for two. Ugh.

New pics are done too. Did more in the studio this time than outside - something different was very nice. Still did the old standbys, so I could keep track of the growth of the baby bump.

You can check them out here. Just a warning - you WILL see my blindingly white belly :)

Half Way There!!!

2009-09-19T05:15:00.001-07:00

And the heartburn started yesterday. Blech. Only 20 more weeks to go??

I'm nuts

2009-09-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

I've got 4.5 months left (please baby only take 4!!). I just put all the baby stuff away in the "closet". It's actually a lingerie chest/wardrobe/thingy we use in our room for baby things (and my maternity clothes at the moment). I get some kind of weird pleasure folding tiny little t shirts, gowns, and clothes. And the itty bitty diapers. Who could imagine that a butt could be that tiny? And that in a few short (I hope) months, I'll have a tiny little butt to put into them!
So everything that I have that doesn't scream boy is put away. It only took 20 minutes. Just by that alone I'm thinking there's not enough. And then I step back and take a look. There's nothing pink, except the diapers a friend just gave me. Nothing purple, or flowery, or frilly either. Mostly white, some greens and yellows, and a tie-dyed undershirt that has fuchsia. I guess that might count? But I could still stand there and look at it all for hours.
There's only 1 gown, 1 pair of jammies, and I think 30ish undershirts (yes, I have issues - they're all from Kian!!). Some of them are long sleeve, some short, and some are side snap and others are onesies. There's about 5 gender neutral outfits. And 1 dress. It's absolutely tiny, and a thin smocked dress I had made for Alannah. I stuffed her into it for her 3mo pictures. And I mean stuffed. 1 sweater. 5 diapers, 3 all-in-one diapers, and 4 itty bitty wool longies. And shoes. Not that the kid will be wearing them any time soon, but I seem to collect them. There's some from Aislinn in that basket!

So I've got 4 months to put a wardrobe together for this baby. And get more diapers. And with as fast as babies seem to grow, it will really be 3 wardrobes. The newborn one, the short sleeve/short pants 3mo one, and the long sleeve/long pants 3mo one. Nothing like winter babies in FL! One day it's 80, the next it's barely pushing 50.

So the 9 days didn't take as long as I thought

2009-09-05T15:28:00.000-07:00

I guess being super busy, and acting as a taxi service to a kid or two makes the days go by faster!

I was very impressed with the place I had the ultrasound done. It was a bigger center, and the ones I'd been to in the past weren't very personal. This one had the tv so I could see the whole thing instead of trying to crane my neck to see the monitor next to my head. Just like the smaller owner operated place I went to last time. And I got lots of pictures, and a cd of pictures too. They even put everything in a little keepsake folder (that I'm sure won't survive long here!) and tied a pretty ribbon color coded to the sex of the baby.

Oh - the sex of the baby?? Well, it was actually quite obvious, even when she just quickly went over the appropriate area. And when the tech stopped, there was no doubt at all, even Eric knew right away! I was worried that the baby would be stubborn, but not at all! Very accommodating actually. Now, we need to work on a name. That's the hard part.

This child may hate me when it's older. I'm essentially posting nekkid b.a.b.y pictures (yes, I did that on purpose - would hate to see the search entries that pull up my blog if I didn't) online for the whole world to see it's plumbing. And for those of you who can't tell, the plumbing on this not shy one is on the inside!

Just 2 more days

2009-09-03T04:52:00.000-07:00

I've come to the realization that your ultrasound while pregnant is almost as exciting as your due date. But better in ways. No hours of pain, no mess, but you get to see your baby. Of course, you don't get to take your baby home with you either, so that's not as nice.

I'm anxious for some reason - not about anything being wrong, but I REALLY want to find out where the plumbing on this little one is. And being a favorite of Murphey's, I'm scared he's going to come visit me on Saturday, and convince this little one to keep his or her legs crossed!

And now I get to try to keep busy to make the next 2 days pass QUICKLY, so I can drink my gallon (not quite) of water, and cross my legs and hope I don't sneeze for my appointment Sat morning.

5 More days

2009-08-31T13:39:00.000-07:00

That's all...

It's going to be a long 9 days...

2009-08-27T16:09:00.000-07:00

Almost 17 weeks. I'm still amazed at how quickly this pregnancy is going. Usually the pregnancy drags on forever, and then the baby comes and is one already when I turn around. Of course, if it's going so quickly now, I'm sure the first year of the babies life is going to go even faster.

But I'm positive the next 9 days are going to drag. Only because that's when my ultrasound is. It's one of those things that I wish I could schedule RIGHT NOW, but I want to make sure that as long as baby cooperates, we're 90%+ sure that what we're seeing is what we're getting!

Once we find out (or don't for that matter) I can really start "nesting" for the baby. I've already gone through and sorted everything, and pretty much know what I need. Just need to know if I need boy stuff, girl stuff, or more gender neutral stuff for a stubborn baby!

And this baby is stubborn. Had an appointment with the midwife the other day, and the baby must have thought she was trying to play tag with the doppler or something - kept trying to squirm away. Even kicked hard enough to see through the belly fat! It was quite entertaining.

Speaking of kicks - I started feeling them last week. And the first time, I was a bit stunned. You figure after 7 kids, I'd remember how those first kicks feel, but it still took me a minute to process that weird rolling feeling going on in my belly. I was expecting the kicks of a ready to be born baby, not something that felt like a tennis ball rolling around in a balloon.

School starts next week. I'm semi-terrified, yet completely excited. I've been quite overwhelmed lately (though it's getting better!), and as a result, haven't picked up my camera in a long time. School will force me to use it - but I'm really hoping to learn a lot in the 2 photography classes as well. And hopefully the hour between them will be enough time for my lazy pregnant self to take a nap in my car and eat lunch.

Not a huge difference in the belly this week compared to last time. I felt like doing something different, but it makes it harder to see the growth, or non growth as it may be. I should have pushed my glasses up too, so I don't look like such a grandma. Sigh... Next time the pink/purple cami will be back. Of course, as it gets colder, I may be rethinking that as well!

Better late than never, right??

2009-08-19T10:44:00.001-07:00

As I'm discussing with Karen when we're going to do my 16 week pictures, it hits me that I haven't shown the 12/13 week ones. Well, they're not all getting shown...

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind, and procrastination in writing a blog entry because I was a tad busy has made it a bit longer than I intended between posts! I'm still trying to figure out where the last 2 months have gone to, and can't believe I'm 15 1/2 weeks pregnant already. There's still a LONG way to go though. I'm hoping at my next midwife appointment I'll get the go ahead to schedule the ultrasound around 18 weeks. That doesn't seem very far away at all.

I CAN say now that my belly isn't all fat. There's a good sized baby in there making it pop out. I've been trying to be more careful in what and how I eat, and it's paying off. I've only gained a couple pounds so far (by my not quite accurate scale, but still!). Maybe after this one is born I'll lose the 30 pounds I retained from the 4 before it?

School is getting ready to start in a couple weeks, and I'll start homeschooling the kids again a few weeks later. I told Eric the other day that we only had 2 weeks to get all my early nesting in. I know we won't have the time or energy once we're both back in school for the fall. Poor guy! I even had him pull out the baby stuff. I'm set for a boy, and if I have a girl, just need a couple girly things to round the gender neutral stuff out.

At least there's one thing to really look forward to about being in school. Between my classes, and Chrissy's (she's dual enrolled) I'm constantly on the go and busy, and the semester pretty much flies by. And I'm only taking photography classes this semester, so there won't be anything that just drags (like my Spanish class...). I'll knock almost 4 months of baby growing out in a blink of an eye. And have just enough time to through a couple birthdays, Christmas, and final nesting together and the new one will be here!

OK, I don't exactly look happy in these... But look! My belly still goes flat if I lie down!

One third of the way there

2009-07-28T15:23:00.000-07:00

It seems like so much time has already passed, and yet there is SO much farther to go! There's a whole semester of school and then some between now and baby time. That just seems like forever!

I got to pee in a cup, get some blood drawn, and be thrilled I've only gained a pound since the last midwife visit. I guess cutting out the Dr Pepper that was making me sick is helping in other ways as well...

People are already asking about names. I have to tell you - I'm about out of them. I have NO CLUE what we're going to name this baby, whether it decides to be a boy or a girl. Girl may be a bit easier, but just a bit. It's funny how your prospective of needing the baby name right away changes after you've had to pick out a bunch of them. And then there were a couple of kids that we waited to find out if they had external or internal parts until they popped out - we came up with 2 names for each of those! And of course we couldn't use the the unused name for the next one, had to start all over again! I can only remember Kiera's boy name, and it was Kieran, so I don't think she'd appreciate me using that if we have a boy this time.

I'm starting to feel better. Still get sick if I don't eat, and still quite tired, though not needing a nap every day. Which is actually pretty nice. It's amazing what 6-7 kids can do to a house when the supervising adult is sleeping.

I'm surprised with how excited Alannah is about the baby. At 4, I wasn't sure she'd really grasp the whole concept. Though she is pregnant with me - and it's twins, and the girl's name is going to be Snow White. I thought that little phase would pass quickly, but she's been hanging on to that fantasy for a few weeks now.

I'm looking forward to a relaxing morning at the beach Thurs, but please no one scream beached whale??

There really is a baby in there.

2009-07-21T05:38:00.000-07:00

I was out to dinner with friends the other night. There was this cute skinny pregnant chick sitting at another table. Based on snippets of overheard conversation, this is her first baby. She had a t-shirt on similar to that one up there. She was obviously pregnant - you know that perfect cute round little belly? And maybe 3 pounds of fat on her whole body. Ahh... to be young again! I told my friends that I needed one of those. But I don't, because right now, I look about as pregnant as she did (6 months or so!) but it's NOT the baby. It's the remains of the baby weight from the last 4 kids. And each of those 5 pounds has decided to throw a party and hang out on my stomach. Thanks Grandma for those genes. My t-shirt needs to say something along the lines of "yes, I'm fat, but I'm also pregnant, and I'm going to get fatter".

I'm starting to get into the "nothing fits right" stage. Where maternity clothes that aren't going to fit when the belly really is baby fit and are comfortable, and the ones that will fit after that are falling off. Unfortunately, I also gave away ALL my maternity clothes after the last babe, so I'm starting all over except for some things handed down from friends. And who wants to spend a ton of money on clothes they're going to wear for 3 months? There lies the dilemma. I think I will be buying 2 pairs of shorts though. I'm sick of either pulling them up all the time, or undoing the snap/button. Two pairs should get me through until I think it's too cold to be wearing them, or I get too lazy to reach around my belly to keep shaving my legs.

I also now have confirmation that there really is a baby in there making all this stuff happen. Finally got a heartbeat on Sun afternoon. And unless I was abducted by aliens and have something in my lower belly that goes thumpthumpthumpthumpthump at 169 beats a minute, I'd say the little parasite that's using all MY energy to grow is doing just fine. There's nothing like that soft beating sound of galloping horses to ease a pregnant woman's mind. And make it really sink in too. I've been daydreaming of all the things I want to get for the little one lately. Only 6ish more weeks until I can find out what he/she/it is! Eric may want to hide the check card.

I'm going to TRY to get a picture this week sometime. I know you all are disappointed you can't point and laugh at my fat belly :)

Pregnancy skews all normal thoughts.

2009-07-13T06:17:00.000-07:00

A normal person would be thrilled to not be sick anymore after weeks of trying to keep the contents of their stomach to stay in their stomach. Not a pregnant person.

I'm not supposed to be feeling just fine yet. But for the most part (besides requiring my daily nap at 2/3 in the afternoon), I do. Oh, there's the little twinges of nausea that still pop up here and there. But I can brush my teeth in the morning. I don't have to eat within 10 minutes of climbing out of bed to make sure that lunch will stay down. I wasn't expecting this lull for another 2 weeks or so at the minimum. So of course, I'm slightly worried. Tried listening for a heartbeat, knowing full well that it was highly highly unlikely to get one at just 10 weeks for me. Stupid tilted uterus! I was hoping for the reassurance. I'll just have to wait a couple more weeks I guess.

I met my new midwife the other week. Had my first visit, peed in a cup, cringed as I stepped on the scale (but at least I haven't added anything to my fat butt yet!), and tried not to wince when she took my blood pressure. Just another reminder that I need to take better care of myself.

But, I like her. She's has a totally different personality than my "old" midwife, but it's not a bad thing, just different. She hugged me, which is weird for me. I'm not a huger. But it's not going to make me never see her again. Once I know someone is a huger, I can brace myself for it, and not flinch and step back and offend them.

Something is screwing with my taste buds though. Dr Pepper tastes bad to me now :( I suppose it could be my body making the things that are bad for me taste bad, but I still like other things that are just as bad for me - like Moe's, or McDonald's Big Macs. But skipping the caffeine will help my blood pressure, and my butt will appreciate the 3-600 less calories a day I'm sure. Yes, I drank THAT MUCH Dr Pepper.

The problem is finding something else that tastes good to drink. Everything I've tried just seems too sweet, and unsweet tea, or just lightly sweetened is gross. Even water is iffy! I used to like Zephyrhills, but it tastes off too. At least the water at the house tastes just fine. I may toting that around every where. Not an awful solution, but a pain in the butt at times!

No picture this week or last. I'm just as fat, if not a bit bigger. Still haven't gained any weight, but my fat is redistributing itself I guess. Maternity pants are becoming more comfortable than my regular pants. Of course, I'll need a bigger size in a couple of months as the fat migrates to my butt as my belly pushes it to the side/back. I figure I'll go through 3 sizes of maternity clothes just like the last 2 times. Of course, I gave away just about everything after Kian, so I'm starting from scratch again! Though a friend just had her baby, so I get to raid through her stuff later this week :)

A shimmer

2009-06-26T19:51:00.000-07:00

I knew it would come eventually. And I'll take it in the bits and pieces it's coming in.

Listened for a heartbeat yesterday. Just to double check my dates. If I'm off, I'm off by a month. So figured if we heard something, I'm 12 weeks rather than 8. Nothing of course (though being more pregnant than I thought would have been nice!).
But as I'm laying there, having cold glop rubbed on my belly, it hit me. There's really a little baby in there. And while I knew that it was highly unlikely that we'd hear anything, that little shimmer of hope was there, and it felt good.

It's finally starting to sink in. I'm pregnant. In 7 months, I'm going to be holding a squishy, wrinkly baby. And I won't have to give him (or her) back to his mom. Of course that means more sleepless nights (maybe Kian will show he loves me by sleeping through the night before the baby is born?), diapers, and a baby bed back in my room. But it also means smelling a sweet baby head, cute clothes that won't get ruined the first time they're worn, tiny little toes to kiss, and a milk scented neck to nuzzle.

2009-06-22T17:35:00.000-07:00

7 weeks.

How did that happen? Didn't I just find out like a week ago?? That's right... I did. I'm not used to finding out so "late". Usually I'm taking tests before I'm even technically late! Love those ultra sensitive tests!

I think there's something in a pregnancy test that triggers morning sickness, by the way. I felt fine before I took that Murphey's Law test. You know what that is - right? You're late, so you waste a test because you KNOW you couldn't possibly be pregnant. And as soon as you take it, BAM - you're not. Yeah, it didn't work so well this time.

Anyways, back to this morning sickness crap. I think there's something in the test that triggers it! Last Monday - nothing turned my stomach. Tues??? I was feeling ill eating my Moe's. And if you know me, you KNOW I love Moe's. I'm telling you, there was something in that test I took Tuesday morning!

And I'm getting fatter. And I'm not stupid enough to think it's baby. Something the size of a grain of rice isn't going to make me go up a pant size! I think my body just has such a good memory, it's letting it all hang out with abandon, enjoying the free-ness of being "allowed" to be fat.

I'm also feeling anxious about how everything is going to work out. It's like baby number 8 is baby number 1 all over again. I haven't felt this way in a LONG time. Even the first 3, which were also nice surprises, didn't bring this anxiety. And the obsession. I can see little bits of it starting to poke out here and there, and I know it's only going to get worse.

Yeah, I'm whiney today. I promise not to spend the next 7ish months whining!

On a good note - I got my feet/toes done last Thursday. It's been 18month since I've had a pedicure, and 30ish years before that (ie - never). I feel like an 11 year old little girl that got to put mommy's make up on for the first time! I can't stop looking at my pretty purple toe nails! I definitely won't wait another 18 months to do it again!

And the pictures of the week - just for you. Does it look like I'm bigger? Karen decided not to clone out the bathroom signs this time - she thought it was fitting for maternity pictures. What an ultra cool doorway for a bathroom though!

OH! I got my hair done last week too. And decided to join the rest of the 30-somethings that have gray and cover some of it. My stylist did a WONDERFUL job, though the morning of the pictures I did nothing with my hair - blah. Getting up at 6:30 for a networking meeting isn't conductive to a good hair day. I promise to pay more attention to it next week. I should bribe the kids to find the flat iron that went missing...

I guess there has to be a first post

2009-06-16T17:54:00.000-07:00

You would think that after 7 kids, having another baby wouldn't be a surprise to us. Yet, here we are. In shock. Not disappointed, but not our timing either. It could be worse!

It still hasn't sunk in. Maybe, hopefully, blogging about the pregnancy, and sharing with everyone on a weekly basis will help that. It's a new feeling for me! I found myself, even today, planning things for when I'm due, that may be just a bit hard to carry out hugely pregnant or with a newborn!

So - when am I due? As good as I can guess, Feb 9th. If I can stand it (10 days overdue), I could have a baby on my birthday. Or Eric's birthday. Or Kivett's! I guess Dec/Jan/Feb weren't busy enough with birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries already :)

And so I can make it ALL about me, I'll share a picture. With a somewhat (not quite) flat stomach. I'm actually looking forward to capturing the changes my body makes on a weekly basis this time. Some of it may be quite eye opening! I'm already encouraged to try harder to lose the baby weight after this one. Nothing like looking 5 months pregnant 2 days after you found out!