Monday, March 8, 2010

I miss being pregnant

I was holding Riona this afternoon, with her sleeping on my chest. Her little feet rubbed against my belly, and it almost felt like when she would kick when I was pregnant.

I don't miss not being able to roll over in bed. I don't miss achy hips. I miss little baby kicks and hiccups. I miss the excitement and anticipation that's constant (mixed in with some anxiety and such - but still there). Most of all I miss that. Not because there won't be new and exciting things happening. I am ecstatic that she'll be smiling very soon, and can't wait!! But there's things I'm not looking forward to - things that are overshadowed by the excitement when you're pregnant.

I'm not looking forward to leaving her 2 nights a week for school in just a few months. I'm dreading it in fact. We won't even talk about when school starts in the fall. I'll not only be in class longer, but have a heavier workload that will more than likely keep me away from home and all the kids more.

I'm having trouble moving past that. Summer is actually optional, but the class isn't. I will have to take it eventually, and besides my photography classes, it's the only one I can't take online. So it just makes sense to do it when I don't have any other classes to take. I'm thrilled to be finding our groove, and looking forward to being able to take the kids and do fun things again. It's been a LONG year and a half without zoo days, and beach days, and just a spur of the moment trip because we want to (and can) go.

I'm not looking forward to putting all the little tiny clothes away. Just a reminder of how very quickly she's going to, and is, growing. Chrissy is 17, and I can't believe at all how quickly 17 years has gone. I feel like I've wasted so much of it, and there was so much more we could have done or done better. It will be a blink of an eye and I'll be looking at colleges with Riona too.

I can't wait to really get to know this sweet baby with oh so soft hair. To find her personality, figure out what makes her smile, laugh, and even cry. What color are her eyes going to end up being? What on earth is her hair going to do - will it stick up forever? And yet, part of me wants to wait. A big part of me.

For every little step in growing up, it's a little step to independence. I realize that's my ultimate goal - I just want more time to enjoy the getting there.

35 comments:

  1. Does this mean there will be a baby #9? :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. 在莫非定律中有項笨蛋定律:「一個組織中的笨蛋,恆大於等於三分之二。」..................................................

    ReplyDelete
  3. 生存乃是不斷地在內心與靈魂交戰;寫作是坐著審判自己。......................................................

    ReplyDelete
  4. 一時的錯誤不算什麼,錯而不改才是一生中永遠且最大的錯誤............................................................

    ReplyDelete
  5. 老天爺賦予了強者的能力,就是要他比弱者多擔待..................................................

    ReplyDelete
  6. 拒絕冒險和成長的人,終將被生命的潮流陶汰。..................................................

    ReplyDelete
  7. 當我微笑時,世界和我一起微笑;當我快樂時,世界和我一起活躍。..................................................

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am
    starting up a internet website directory and was
    wanting to know if I can submit your website? I'm hoping
    to increase my directory little by little by hand so that it
    retains quality. I'll make sure
    and put your blog in the correct category and I'll
    also use, "Blogger: Baby Number 8" as your anchor text.
    Be sure to let me know if this is okay with you by mailing me at: noegrubb@web.de.
    Thankyou

    Feel free to visit my webpage ... My Site

    ReplyDelete