Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Good bye toes

I can't see my toes when I look straight down anymore. I'm past the "is she fat or is she pregnant stage" (barely). My belly moves and bounces on it's own. I really am going to have a baby in a couple months. There's a little dresser full of tiny little baby things (and some pink and girly has been added).

Yet it still seems all so unreal. And so far away - almost like it will never happen. And then I'll feel a bump or a roll inside, and it brings it all back to me in a rush. I'm still not 100% sure where my emotions on having this baby are. The excitement that I had with the other 7 isn't there still. Maybe it never will be. At least I know that the second she is out of me, and into my arms, I'll be in love all over again, and the misgivings, worries, and anxiety will all be forgotten.

I'm tired. School is kicking my butt. Going all day for 2 classes seemed like such a good idea at the time. Now I just want to nap in the hour break in between. If it weren't so stinking hot, I would be able to in the van. But I still adore it.

Going camping this weekend. Actually leave tomorrow. I'm very excited, though part of me thinks I'm insane. I haven't been sleeping well on the bed at home that I love - so how the heck am I supposed to actually sleep on an air mattress? Wonder if the husband would object to me getting a hotel room for a night or two and leaving him to fend for himself with the kids and dog?

3 comments:

  1. since he had fun in the creation of these wonders I think he should let you get a hotel room for a night.
    :)

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  2. I would opt for a Hammock. Good luck on your camping trip.

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  3. Good luck with the camping trip. My husband wanted to go camping in a couple weeks. I told him I would be getting a hotel room near the campground :) After hearing that he would be alone with the kids he decided to stay in the hotel room with me :)

    I have the same mixed emotions as you do. I don't count down the days or spend every waking moment thinking about the baby like I have in the past. I'm too busy worrying about the other kids to even remember I'm pregnant half the time. However, I too realize that when he/she is born I won't even remember life without them and won't be able to imagine not having them in my life ;)

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